Finally Adjusting

As of May 9, we have had 2 working parents again. I'm not quite sure how it happened but over the course of the 6 months that hubby was out of work I became quite accustomed to have a clean home and not lifting a finger. Oh geeze, way to set me up for failure, honey! 

Since he has been working, our house has been an absolute train wreck. I'm talking laundry spilling out of the clothes hamper, dishes in the sink, food caked on the table from last night's dinner, books and toys strewn about - it's been brutal. By the time Hubby gets home from work he is exhausted and I'm used to him doing all the work so I've gotten lazy worn out too so everything just keeps piling. 

Well - I think I've gotten my mojo back - YAY!! For the second time this week, my clothes hamper is empty!! And my dishes are all washed!!! And my floor is crumb free!!! And most everything is in it's proper place!!! And all of this on the same night even!  I would show you with pictures but let's face it, I've expended all of my energy cleaning. Ha!

I'm going to do the happy dance in my dreams now.. hope everyone has had a wonderful, productive day!

Why I've been avoiding you...

I've been ducking and dodging my blog for about a month now. Oops... I come to you now with my tail tucked between my legs because, oh the horror, I have somehow forgotten to spend a few minutes introducing our camera to our computer... still. Oh darn... Please forgive me wonderful blog, I'm begging. Maybe next time?! ;)
Hubby started his new job last Monday. Not the position he had hoped for but it's a foot in the door to better things - YAY! Yesterday he called me and excitedly hollered (that means yell for anyone not from GA), "I'm driving a dump truck!" I must admit, his excitement made me giggle on and off for the remainder of the day. I love to see his energy, enthusiasm and confidence back up. (Not that his confidence has ever been low but I've seen it genuinely rise.)
With the new job came putting my sweet munchkin back in school. She loved it and was so excited to go the first two days. By Wednesday of last week, however; the newness had worn off and she cried after me. It has progressed now to the point of crying and telling me to hold her when I merely turn on the road for the school. I have been assured by all of the staff that as soon as I walk out the door she quickly segues play time and eating breakfast. But does that do anything to mend this momma's heart? Definitely not. I long to hold her and rock her and comfort her myself. I know she is such a sponge now and I wish I were the one to be filling that sponge with knowledge and God's promises and love.
I know that is not my reality right now and I should not dwell on it. I know that God has wonderful plans for my family and for Munchkin.. I'm just struggling with handing this over to Him and asking for His Will on this subject instead of begging Him making provisions for me to be able to have the longing of my heart.
On a happier note.. I get to meet up with girls from high school this weekend. We all live relatively close to each other but all of our lives have taken such different routes it has been difficult to get together for the last few years. Needless to say, I miss them and can't wait to see them and their families.
Niki

Updates..

This is what arrived home from work to yesterday. Isn't she just precious? This was my apron from my days at Philly Connection - my after school job during high school. I wish I had a picture to share with you of me wearing the apron yesterday... well... my foot wearing the apron. Adi took it off shortly after I took this picture and promptly threw it down in the entry to the hallway. I, being the bad mommy that I am, didn't pick it up or ask her to pick it up but instead just stepped over it... the first time I walked past it at least. The second time I was not so lucky. The second time I was holding Adi and mis-stepped and landed about 2cm from perfect split position. Y'all... I don't move that way. I really doubt I have ever moved that way. I sat Adi down and she was crying, pleading with me to stand up. Jon was doing his best not to laugh at my pitiful-ness as I just laid there unable to move my hips at all. It was beyond hysterical and really a slap in the face about my age. I am STILL hurting. It has been 15 hours and it has eased up some but I honestly hurt from mid back down to mid thigh. Ouch!

Aside from falling, yesterday was a good day. We had to take Adi to the doctor for some tummy troubles. While waiting she experienced her first Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit and watched the monster trucks on Daddy's phone.

My sweet girl has started sleeping in her big girl bed. Daddy built her a platform for her mattress on Saturday and she has absolutely fallen in love. She's started getting up a time or two a night and asking one of us to come lay down with her but we both figure that is just part of the adjustment. She is doing great with it though.

Jon and I are doing well. I have started working some more in the church and Jon has been helping with that some. I'm telling you... the men and women in our children's department are absolute God-sends. I love each and everyone of them so much. It is amazing to stand back and watch God work thru them as they love on all of the kiddos and share Jesus's love with them.

Jon has an interview tomorrow - Praise God! I'm so exicted about this entire situation and how doors were opened completely unexpectedly. I can't wait to see what God is up to with this one. I'll let y'all know how the interview goes - think happy thoughts and say some prayers for us!

I better go get some things done - busy, busy right now.

Trusting -

Niki

Confessions of a Drama Queen

It’s been nearly a month… a month filled with nearly 100 resume submissions, eating my pride and applying for food stamps, deep internal conflicts, and (surprisingly for me – a known drama queen) only 2 mini-meltdowns.

Today was one of those meltdowns. It wasn’t terrible.. more of gurgling from within.. I have to explain the internal conflicts in order to explain the origin of it though. Sunday after my husband lost his job I sat in church doing the usual dodge of the offering plate. This time I was telling God well before worship even thought about drawing to that point that I really couldn’t afford it since we were now living on one income. However, God said otherwise and I pulled out my check book for the first time in my adult life. I have been struggling with tithing for over a year and have always found an excuse (good ones even – well.. at least to me they were good) for not giving. This particular Sunday God slapped me across the face (yes, I’m aware that some people don’t have the face-slapping view of God that I have… I like to think that he does whatever he needs to in order to eventually get his point across) and told me that I had always said we weren’t able to afford giving him his 10%.. and now we were living off of less than ½ of what we were so he would make it work for me. All hesitation aside, I did put the check in the offering plate (my hand was probably shaking like a leaf when I did it.. that doesn’t matter though).

Then God did something wonderful (as if everything he does isn’t wonderful – yes, even the slaps). The sermon that morning was on Moses leading the Isrealites out of Egypt. I can’t tell you what the preacher’s exact words are but I can tell you that God spoke to me in a powerful way and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my God will provide for me.

So back to the meltdown. I’m balancing my checkbook and adding up figures and doing a little math dance and suddenly realize that without unemployment or food stamps (which apparently DFCS thinks we are rich because I make $50 more than the cutoff… sheesh!) I will not be able to pay our bills in February. Wow… that’s a scary thought whenever it’s actually said. I think I may have just had a heart palpitation. Hence my meltdown. BUT… God will provide for me! Somehow, somewhere, he already has a plan in motion to provide my family’s needs. Isn’t he awesome?

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Learning to Trust

July 17, 2008… I walked out of my office at 9:30am with my arms loaded down with personal belongings. Tossing an ivy plant, picture, and a few trinkets in my car I drove off and melted. As I got to my new apartment, I looked at the separation notice I had just signed and anger bubbled up. My boss had written that my job performance was substandard. Everyone at the office scoffed at it even – knowing that it was far from the truth. When she called me in for the meeting she told me to sit down and explained that we had never connected. She must have forgotten the monthly meetings where I came to her and asked her if she was upset at me or anything because of her attitude and seeming contempt directed at me.

July 24, 2008… I had a wonderful interview for a position that my sister had just vacated. I walked out feeling good and knowing that God has a plan for everything. I had been unhappy where I was. I knew I needed something else but had just been too scared to change it. This new company was where I needed to be.

July 25, 2008… I followed up from my interview the day before and learned of my job offer – PRAISE THE LORD! I celebrated by having lunch with Jon and running a few errands. 2 hours later I learned that we were pregnant. “Wow… Ok, God… what am I doing here?” I was excited but scared to death. The timing of everything was just a little too overwhelming.

I can look back at those 2 weeks now and be incredibly thankful for the events on July 17^th. I now have a wonderful family, a beautiful baby girl, and secure job. I am blessed beyond belief.

The past few weeks I have begun following several blogs. It started with a pregnancy blog, and then a menu planning blog, then a couponing blog, then a parenting blog… ok… maybe I just became obsessed. Haha. For about a week I have felt very strongly about creating one of my own. I had about a million reasons not to though… my grammar has gotten so terrible, I’m a drama queen, I don’t clip coupons regularly, I’m by no means a chef… what do I have to offer to anyone? I gave in on Monday and created one but battled all day about what to write. Tuesday I opened the blog up stared at the screen for a while. “I felt led to do this…. Why?”

November 16, 2010… I sat at work staring at my screen while Jon was home miserable with a sinus infection. He had been out of work for a few days since he was so bad sick and had been in contact with his supervisor everyday. Jon called me and told me he had been fired for ‘No call, no show.’ I guess his supervisor forgot or somehow didn’t get the message. Oh well… What is done is done and we will make it work. “Ok God, what’s the lesson or the good here?”

So here I sit. God, I know you wanted me to post a blog for a reason. Perhaps this will reach someone/anyone that is in need of encouragement.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Trusting,

Niki